The Battle Of Trying To Stay Human
by qsarc96
Summary: Detective Harper Jane just got assigned to Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. Harper's journey trying to fit in the team and not to let the cases go to her head.
1. Chapter I: The 'New' Newbie

Chapter I: The "New" Newbie

She really wanted this job. She spent her life trying to proof herself to people, and this is her chance to really do it. She worked very hard to put Detective in front of her name. But she was still a rookie in that department.

Detective Harper Jane walked out of the elevators at the 16th precinct. The box that she was holding isn't really that heavy, since she didn't know what to bring with her. She packed only 2 pictures, one with her mother and one with all her sisters.

Harper walked into the squad room of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. The guy in uniform, whom was sitting by the door, stood up.

"Can I help you, miss?" he said, looking at her with sadness in his eyes.

Harper looked at him, "yeah, I'm looking for sergeant Olivia Benson?" she asked.

"She is in her office. It's right over there." He pointed at the door right across the room.

"Thanks."

She walked across the room, while observing the squad room. She saw 3 people, two men and a woman, sitting together. Judging by their faces, Harper assumed they were joking around. And then there was another man. He was sitting by himself and kind of pretending he didn't hear them. Harper felt sorry for him. Suddenly, all 4 of them were looking at her. She ignored them and knocked on the door of the office she was sent to.

"Come in." Said the voice of a woman.

She opened the door, and was faced with her new commanding officer. If Harper was honest, she expected someone very different. She expected an elderly woman, whose hair would have been grey and wearing a police suit. She didn't know why, but she felt better seeing the woman was nothing like she expected. On the desk she saw the name "Sgt. Olivia Benson".

"Sergeant Benson?"

Olivia looked up.

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"I'm Harper Jane, your new detective."

Suddenly Olivia remembers. Seeing that Special Victims Unit was short staffed, Olivia asked if she could have 2 more detectives in her team, preferably one man and one woman. They immediately assigned detective Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr to her team, but so far she felt that he wasn't the right person. Since he was the man she requested, she was hoping the woman would be more of a fit into her team, but she was kind of disappointed of what stood in front of her.

The woman couldn't be more than 25. She was still a girl. And Olivia had a feeling that she had no experience being a detective at all.

"Right. Nice to meet you, I'm sergeant Olivia Benson. Welcome to Special Victims Unit." Olivia said, trying to keep herself from judging the girl.

"Thank you sergeant. I just want to say I'm really excited to be here and be a good help for you. My old CO told me you guys were short staffed."

Olivia just nodded.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the others."

They both walked out of the office. Harper was still holding the box with her stuff in it.

"Guys! I want you to meet detective Harper Jane. Harper, these are detectives Fin Tutuola, Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins and Sonny Carisi. Your desk is right across from Sonny."

"Nice to meet you." Fin and Amanda said.

Nick just nodded. He wasn't sure what to think of her yet, but if she was in any way like the other newbie, they won't hit it off.

"Nice to meet you too." Harper said while putting the box on her desk.

Sonny went up to her with his hand out. Harper shook it.

"Dominick Carisi Jr, but you can call me Sonny. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you Sonny."

"No offense, but you look young. Where did you transfer from?"

"Uh… The streets. Was in uniform until a week ago. And a woman is never offended if you call her young." Harper winked.

"Oh wow. You really just came out of the uniform. This is going to be tough for you."

"It's okay. I asked my old CO where they most needed me. He wanted to transfer me to Robbery."

"Robbery. Ha, I actually worked there for like 6 months. Not enough action."

Harper just smiled. She started unpacking the box. She took the picture with her mother and looked at it for a while. She missed her mother. She needed to call her again soon. Harper put the picture next to her computer screen.

When Harper was done, she looked over to Sonny. He was busy with paperwork while the other 3 were still talking to each other. She didn't really like the vibe she was getting.

"When did you start working here?" She asked.

"Just a couple of weeks ago. Was with SVU in Staten Island before this."

"Why come here?"

"Special Victims needed people. The same reason you're here."

Harper nodded. She saw the guy named Nick look at her. She wasn't really sure what was up with him. Sure, she heard about him. The guy who shot an unarmed 14-year old kid and almost beat a guy to death because he was taking pictures. Harper knew from his face that he didn't want her here. She saw him walking into sergeant Benson's office.

Olivia looked up and sighted when she saw whom it was.

"I don't want to hear it Nick."

"Liv, why is she here? We were fine with just Carisi."

"Because I asked for another detective, another woman."

"She is not a woman, she is a girl. She doesn't belong here."

"I'm sorry Nick, but you don't have a say in this even though you want to." The phone on Olivia's desk started ringing. Olivia picked up.

"Special Victims, sergeant Benson."

Olivia listened to the voice on the phone. She took a piece of paper and wrote down some key information.

"Yes, we got it covered. We are on our way now." Olivia hung up the phone and walked out to the squad room, Nick following her.

"Guys, listen up. There is a 10 year old girl, named Lucy Bedford, in Bellevue, says she just want a doctor to examine her but the doctor found it suspicious because of the bruising she has. She is in foster care, but no parent came in with her. Amaro, Carisi, you two go to the address the girl gave. Fin, Rollins, you guys try to find as much as you can about the girl. Jane and I will go talk to the girl. Let's go."

Amaro and Carisi took their jackets and went to the elevator. Rollins and Tutuola went to computer screens. Harper just looked around her. She was amazed by how well sergeant Benson took control. But she was also nervous. This will be the first time she would be involved with a case from Special Victims.

"Jane, I just need to make one phone call and then we can go." Olivia said, while walking back to her office.

Harper nodded. This is going to be a long day for her.

**XXX**

"Do you mind if you drive? I'm kind of tired." Olivia asked while they walked over to the squad car.

"I don't. I like to drive. Makes me feel relaxed, you know." Harper said while getting into the driver's seat. She felt her phone buzz.

She took out her phone and saw the text on the screen:

_I love you, be safe xxxxxxxxxxxxx – HW_

Harper smiled. Olivia noticed it and wondered who that could be.

_I love you too, see you tonight xxxxx – HJ_

Harper put her phone back in her pocket.

"Sorry. Which hospital is it?"

"Bellevue. It's going to be a long ride, especially with the traffic around this time."

"Right."

Olivia looked over to Harper. When she read the file on the girl, she was indeed impressed with her record. In her 4 years as an officer on the street, she made many arrests involving mostly drugs and gangs. Olivia actually wondered why she didn't join Narcotics.

"Can I ask you a question?" Olivia asked.

"Sure."

"Why did you choose Special Victims and not Narcotics? I know for a fact that Narcotics had an opening and I'm pretty sure they would have wanted you, based on your record."

"Because I actually wanted to help people. They wanted to put me in Robbery first, but my previous CO made sure I was somewhere they actually needed me. Narcotics can get a guy in 20 seconds. Special Victims? Nobody wanted that, so I saw my chance to give back. But I could tell from you face earlier that you were kind of disappointed."

"No, I'm not disappointed. I just… I didn't know what to expect. But can you blame me? You're really young. How old are you?"

"I'm 24, sergeant. But I'm going to make sure you don't regret having me."

"I'm sure I won't regret it. You look like a good person, Harper."

**XXX**

After a half hour, Olivia and Harper arrived at Bellevue. Harper parked the car, and together they went inside. Harper just followed Olivia because she had no idea where to go. They reached a desk.

"Sergeant Benson and detective Jane, Special Victims Unit. One of the doctors called us about suspicious bruising on a 10 year old girl?" Olivia told the nurse behind the desk.

"Yes, that would be doctor O'Conor. Follow me please." The nurse said, motioning for them to follow her.

"Oh by the way Harper, let me do the talking. Since you're new at SVU, you don't really know how to talk to abused victims. If you observe this one, you can maybe do the next one."

Harper was kind of offended. She totally knew how to talk to victims. When she was still an officer on the streets, she dealt with mostly drug and gang-related stuff. Because of that, she saw a lot of girls who were sexually abused and forced to have sex with other men. Most of them weren't even 15. But Harper didn't want to say anything. She didn't want to look bad in front of her sergeant on her first day.

"Here she is. Good luck with trying to get her to talk." The nurse walked away.

Olivia pulled the curtain aside. Every time she sees a kid all bruised up, her stomach always turned. She just didn't understand why anyone would hurt something as innocent as a kid.

"Lucy? My name is Olivia and this is Harper. We are police officers, and we would like to ask you some questions."

The girl just looked at Olivia. Her eyes then looked at Harper. Harper's heart broke. The girl's eyes were empty and dull. It was like her soul wasn't in her anymore.

"You think that you can answer our questions?"

The girl's eyes widen and she shook her head furiously.

"Calm down, sweetheart, you're not in any trouble. We're here to help you."

Lucy kept shaking her head. Olivia sighted. There was no way this girl was going to talk.

Harper noticed a duffle bag, lying on the chair next to the bed Lucy was sitting on. It had a soccer ball on it.

"You play soccer?" Harper asked.

Olivia looked at Harper in disbelieve. Lucy looked at Harper, then looked at her duffle bag and slowly nodded her head.

"I use to play soccer when I was a kid. I was so good, I actually got a scholarship for it."

Lucy's eyes widen. Harper knew she got the girl's attention.

"What position do you play?"

"Defence." Lucy said in a small voice.

Olivia was surprised. Harper actually made her talk.

"That is so funny, I played defence. Where do you play?"

"Bushwick. I play for the Bushwick Titans Girl Team."

"I used to play for the Queens Vikings Girl Team. Do you like it?"

"Yes, very much. I would like to play in the USA national women soccer team one day."

Harper saw that Lucy's eyes were starting to shine while talking about soccer. Just then a woman in a long white coat pulled the curtain aside.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know Lucy had any company." The woman said.

"Don't worry. My name is sergeant Olivia Benson and this is detective Harper Jane. We're from Special Victims."

"Right. I'm doctor O'Conor. I examined Lucy." Doctor O'Conor said.

Harper was still looking at Lucy. Just like that, the shine is her eyes were gone again. Suddenly Lucy got up from the bed and quickly grabbed her duffle bag.

"I have to go." Lucy said, and before anyone could say anything, she was already running out the exit.

Olivia sighted again. Harper just looked at Olivia. This case could take awhile.

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**Author's note:**

**Not sure if anyone is reading this, but if you do please leave a comment if I should continue this story or not. I already planned out a whole story for this, but I would like to know if anyone would actually be reading this.**

**This is my first story. And English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**Please review! I'll appreciate it :) **


	2. Chapter II: Personal

Chapter II: Personal

"Detective, didn't I tell you to let me do the talking to the victim?" Olivia asked.

After Lucy ran from the hospital, Harper tried to run after her. But she lost track of the girl. While Harper was running after Lucy, doctor O'Conor filled Olivia in about the bruises on the girl. Apparently, this wasn't the first time Lucy got beaten up. She had couple of healed fractures and healing yellow bruises.

"I'm sorry serge, it won't happen again." Harper said while they were walking back to the car.

**XXX**

"Rollins, you found something about Lucy?" Olivia asked once they were back at the precinct.

"All I could find is that she is the star player of the Bushwick Titans Girl team. However, I did find some juice on the coach. His name is Burt Rogers. Apparently he was accused of 'inappropriately touching' of one of his former star players. But the girl never pressed any charges. It never went to court." Amanda said, while showing the picture of the coach on the big screen.

Just then Nick and Sonny walked in.

"And?" Olivia asked, turning to them.

"Spoke to the parents. They had no idea this was happening to Lucy. They never saw any bruises or anything. But they do have four younger kids who keep them pretty busy. I don't think they did this to her." Nick said, taking a seat at the large table.

"Lucy came home just when we left." Sonny said.

"Well, at least we know she came home safe." Harper said.

Everybody looked at her, confused by her words.

"She kind of ran away from us." Harper shrugged.

"Okay, so we at least know she is home safe. Let's call it a night. We'll go talk to the coach tomorrow." Olivia said and walked back into her office.

**XXX**

"Hey Jane, we are going to get a drink. Want to join us?" Fin asked.

Harper thought about it for a moment. This was a good chance to get to know her colleagues better.

"Sure why not? Just give me a second."

Fin nodded. Up until now, he still didn't know what to think about his new colleague yet. She looked alright, but so young. He wondered if she could keep up with the job. Working at SVU has a lot of sacrifices.

Harper walked over to the lockers, out of earshot of the others. She got her phone out of her pocket and dialled a number.

"_Hey honey! Are you on your way home?" _The voice on the phone asked.

"That's why I called. I'm actually going to be later tonight. The others asked if I wanted to go get a drink with them." Harper said, looking over her shoulder to the others.

"_Well, that's a good sign isn't it? Means they want to know you. Go have fun! I'll see you tomorrow then. Love you."_

"See you tomorrow. Love you too." Harper hung up.

Harper walked back to her desk and grabbed her jacket. She went to the elevator where the others were waiting

"Let's go."

**XXX**

"So, Jane, where are you from?" Fin asked.

They just arrived at the bar, which wasn't busy considering it was a Tuesday evening. They all ordered a beer. Harper swallowed the beer in her mouth before answering.

"Right here from New York. South of Queens to be specific." Harper said.

"South of Queens? That's a rough neighbourhood." Fin said.

"It's fine. My mother signed me up for soccer at the community's youth centre. Kept me out of trouble. And I turned out okay, right?" Harper joked. She took another sip of her beer.

Amanda looked at Harper. She didn't know what it was but she had a certain pull towards her. It made her feel weird. Harper noticed Amanda staring at her.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Harper asked, while rubbing her hand over her face.

"No, sorry. I was just day dreaming." Amanda said, quickly looking down at her beer bottle.

"Why didn't sergeant Benson join us?" Harper asked to the group.

"She has a child at home. She comes every once in a while but tonight she couldn't." Nick said, already on his second bottle of beer.

"Oh, that's cool I guess." Harper shrugged.

After two hours Harper thought it was time to get going. It was great to get to know everyone, even Nick. But that didn't mean she liked him though. There was something off about him that she doesn't like.

"Gentlemen, and lady, it has been a pleasure but I'm leaving now. Apparently I'm the only one who seems to remember that we have work tomorrow. See you guys later." Harper stood up from her chair, took her jacket, waved to everyone and walked out.

Just when the door behind her closed, she remembered that she drove to the precinct. Harper groaned and started walking to the nearest subway station.

"Hey Harper, wait up!"

Harper turned and saw Amanda running up to her. When she reached her, Amanda smiled big. Harper smiled back.

"What's up?"

"I thought I might as well get home too. And since I need to take the subway, I thought I could walk with you." Harper saw that Amanda's cheeks got a little red.

"Yeah, I need to take the subway too. My screwed up head forgot I drove here."

Harper and Amanda walked further in silence. Harper noticed that Amanda started walking closer to her, close enough that their arms were brushing.

"What are you doing?" Harper asked.

"Uhh, nothing." Amanda blushed and put some distance between them.

"Do you have a little crush on me, Rollins? I mean, it's totally fine, I'm very crushable," Harper laughed, "although, I don't want to come in between you and Amaro."

Amanda turned her head towards Harper.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. Only a blind person won't be able to see that something is going on between you."

Amanda shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean, there was something but that is over right now. I felt like he was dragging me along while still trying to get with his ex-wife and the mother of his other child. We didn't work together, besides it's better like this. We can focus on our job better without having our feelings involved."

"I guess." Harper nodded.

They went down the stairs to the platform of the subway station.

"By the way, do you really have that much sisters?" Amanda asked.

Harper laughed.

"Yep, all 8 of them. It's not that much of a big deal. Just, being one of the youngest, I never had time to do my hair or anything before going to school. I pretty much looked like a hobo while my oldest sister looked like she came out of a Victoria's Secret show."

When the subway came, they both got on and went out to their own stop, Amanda going off earlier than Harper. They waved goodbye to each other and went home to get a goodnight sleep before an early day.

**XXX**

Harper woke up at around 6 AM. She didn't have to be at her work until 8 AM. She decided to take a run in her neighbourhood. Running helped clear her mind. Not that she was stressed or anything, quite the opposite. She just wants to think about nothing for a second and stay in shape.

When 8 AM came, Harper was already sitting at her desk, doing research on Lucy and her family. She took a sip from her tea when Olivia walked in.

"Wow, already? As commending officer I should be the one who has to be at her desk at 8 AM." Olivia smiled.

"Well, I was up already and had time to kill, so why not use that time to help our case?" Harper asked, turning to Olivia.

Olivia started walking to her office.

"I like that spirit. Keep it up and tell me if you find anything."

"Will do sergeant."

Just then, Amanda walked in with 2 coffees and a bag of mini muffins. She smiled when she saw Harper sitting at her desk.

"Hey early bird." Amanda said while walking to her desk.

Harper turned towards Amanda, smiling back.

"Hey Rollins. Had a goodnight sleep?"

Amanda didn't know what it was, but she didn't like it when Harper called her Rollins. Her old captain used to say that someone who called her Rollins was just another cop. And she didn't really want Harper to be 'just another cop'.

"The best. I was already asleep before I hit my pillow. Anyway, you want a mini muffin? Also I got an extra cup of coffee if you want."

Harper got up, walked over to Amanda's desk and sat down on the chair that was next to it.

"Actually, I try to stay as far away from coffee as I possibly can. I run a lot so coffee isn't good for me. However, I'll take the mini muffin. One won't kill me, will it?" Harper laughed.

Amanda really liked the sound of Harper's laugh.

"Take as many as you want."

And just like that, Amanda knew her feelings will get her in a lot of trouble.

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**Author's note:**

**Sorry it took so long for me to update. I've been so busy with work that I didn't really have time to update sooner. So, tell me if you like this chapter so I know people still like this story. I hope to update sooner but I can't and won't promise anything!**

**Have a nice day :-)**


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